« withdrawal syndrome | Main | let’s get soaking wet »

thomosexuality

Adding fuel to my theory that Thoms-with-an-h are almost invariably gay, the list of bios for the “cultural experts,” the “Fab Five” queer men (as noted on Gothamist) participating in the upcoming Bravo TV reality show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy includes a Thom—along with a Kyan, a Carson, a Jai and a… Ted. Ted? What kind of homo name is that? Seems to me that one of the “Fab Five” needs a nameover. Maybe give that uninspiring “e”—which after all appears three times in the words “heterosexual” and “breeder”—a stylish little circumflex: Têd. Even the word “circumflex” has such a homoerotic ring, don’t you think, containing within it both cum and flex?

Comments

Nice! I’m a sucker for diacritical marks. Ah, the poor circumflex, so neglected and misunderstood. ;) “Nameover,” that’s perfect. Hmm, Ted. I’d at least go for “Teddy” or “Theo” (or for an extreme nameover, even “Téodore,” à la française).

Which reminds me of an observation I once heard: that of course God didn’t create Adam and Steve. Any gay man knows it’d be Adam and Stephen. ;)

I agree, he should use Theodore, or maybe a variation on the spelling of Ted: Tead (as in dead or head) or Taid (as in said).

See, that’s why I obviously am just a runner-up at neologism rather than a winner: why didn’t I think of “Téodore”? Of course, it’s just as likely if not more so that “Ted” here is short for “Edward” rather than “Theodore.”

credits

mint 190 banner image adapted from Lovely vintage Mercedes photo by June Shieh (misocrazy), cc Attribution 2.0